Reflections on 2nd critique

I’ve been thinking about the body- about my body and the things it does without my permission like shake or buckle. I’ve been thinking about my father’s body- the Lewy Body Dementia removing his ability to think or create. I’ve been struggling to find balance and gave in to the flow over the last few weeks. I felt like I was rushing to get things finished for this critique only to get things up and realize how far I’ve come in this project. I’m still playing, still testing, and keeping myself open to however things want to be created. I’ve been thinking about writing and how I haven’t done much of it lately. I miss my words, the way in which I know how to best communicate whats deep inside. Moving forward, I’m just going to allow things to happen. To see where the image stands in this current body of work and if its needed. To bring back the written and see what occurs when its dissected then left for others to read.

It’s taller than I am

Just finished the 6 hours of laying out and cutting this massive beast. It took longer because it took me a hot moment to figure out that I was going to have to cut the warp piece in two 36″ sections since I haven’t purchased my 4×8′ cutting mat yet (though I do have a ruler almost long enough… apparently I can’t measure so it was just above the length of a heckin 72″ ruler). Got the photo test marked off and ready to cut as I begin the weave.

First critique reflection

I’ve been trying to give myself a few days distance from the crit to try and get some thoughts down on paper. While there were definitely a few helpful things brought up, trying to present initial research while seeking specific feedback in this first crit was impossible under how it was run. It felt rather like a giant participation awards ceremony. I needed more in order to determine how I am pushing forward and just having everything come across as positive and warm-fuzzies nice didn’t allow me to strike the proper balance.

I’ve been sitting with my piece since it first went up on Wednesday, sitting further since it was popped up to get it out of the way in my studio. I’m trying to answer the questions that weren’t able to be brought up while looking over the notes Grace was kind enough to take for me. It makes me wonder what could have happened if I had just presented it as a research PowerPoint which was my original plan. I busted that mock up out in 25 hours because I hate PowerPoints and thought a visual idea present while I asked would have been more helpful. What would have happened had I had access to my original rigging points and didn’t feel pressured to add another element in to try and create the visual balance I was looking for with my original rigging spot? What could have occurred had I been able to ask the pointed questions during the crit instead of having to run around afterwards grabbing anyone who would talk to me to get to the bottom of things?

I keep coming back to this idea: I’m not trying to be an art critic, I’m trying to learn how to be critical of my work. Maybe I’ll meditate on that instead of ruminating on the lost opportunity; focus on the parts that were actually helpful instead of feeling like the whole encounter was a giant hug fest instead of the intense crit I was looking for and used to.

Test #1

First time rigging a weaving and manipulating its form off the wall. I spent the first two hours hating the piece and wanting to set it on fire but stuck with it and kept seeing what would work. For a materials test, it’s not terrible and it works within my overarching theme: exploring absence and presence in art through the neurological breakdown of the mind and body from diseases such as Lewy Body Dementia and Fibromyalgia. This semester will end up a big learning curve for me as I determine how these pieces will ultimately take flight.

Test piece #1 – fabric, photo paper, and fishing line

Weavings move slowly

But this isn’t going as slowly as working with weaving actual images together (also, while the backs are the same white, the fronts are so far just off enough that I am a bit pissy about it; probably won’t annoy me once it’s done but still)

Starting the weave

I’m currently in a material testing phase of my thesis where I get to play and see what’s going to happen. First test will be paper and fabric and let me just say: I don’t think I like weaving with fabric. At least not yet. I have to create a variation of a loom or some sort of support for myself because fabric has way too much give. Like, a frustrating amount of give. Maybe it’s because I have gotten so used to working with paper (photo or otherwise) but it’s 9am and the struggle is real

Approximately 64 more rows to go

Thus far I have finished Sense8, The OA, part of The Night Of (before HBO was all “girl that shits depressing you shouldn’t watch this right now no matter how beautiful you think it is), and Wonder Woman. Now to finish the weave by rewatching Top of the Lake. I may end up slightly ahead of my schedule at this rate woooooo