I’ve been trying to give myself a few days distance from the crit to try and get some thoughts down on paper. While there were definitely a few helpful things brought up, trying to present initial research while seeking specific feedback in this first crit was impossible under how it was run. It felt rather like a giant participation awards ceremony. I needed more in order to determine how I am pushing forward and just having everything come across as positive and warm-fuzzies nice didn’t allow me to strike the proper balance.
I’ve been sitting with my piece since it first went up on Wednesday, sitting further since it was popped up to get it out of the way in my studio. I’m trying to answer the questions that weren’t able to be brought up while looking over the notes Grace was kind enough to take for me. It makes me wonder what could have happened if I had just presented it as a research PowerPoint which was my original plan. I busted that mock up out in 25 hours because I hate PowerPoints and thought a visual idea present while I asked would have been more helpful. What would have happened had I had access to my original rigging points and didn’t feel pressured to add another element in to try and create the visual balance I was looking for with my original rigging spot? What could have occurred had I been able to ask the pointed questions during the crit instead of having to run around afterwards grabbing anyone who would talk to me to get to the bottom of things?
I keep coming back to this idea: I’m not trying to be an art critic, I’m trying to learn how to be critical of my work. Maybe I’ll meditate on that instead of ruminating on the lost opportunity; focus on the parts that were actually helpful instead of feeling like the whole encounter was a giant hug fest instead of the intense crit I was looking for and used to.